Friday, 16 March 2018

Cycling Writing

In Room Five we have been learning to describe using present tense. After the police sent someone to our school to teach us how to safe cycle, we wrote how it felt like on one of the courses. Here it is:

I speed off with a roaring start, ready to turn. I turn and zig-zag past everything like I have rockets on. Pulling on the brakes, I turn sharply, followed by a burst of air. It feels as if I am taking off like a mini plane. Back down in a short second, just in time to put on the brakes once more for the the next jump. This time though, I get no air, just go up and then a split second later, down again just to turn for the third time. I zig-zag again, but half way through I feel a bumpy massage just before the other half of the zig-zags. I screech to a stop, right at the back of the line, waiting for my next turn.

My second time round is different. I notice everything more. When I push off I turn and twist through the orange, small, cones. I turn slowly so I have plenty of time to get ready for the wooden plank. I speed over it to decrease the chances of falling off the ramp. I turn again, this time with hardly any time to get ready for the next wooden plank. This one is heavier and I go up and then right back down, still on top of the plank. I turn just in time for the second pair of orange cones. This time though there is a ladder halfway through and it feels very nice and bumpy.  After the ladder I finish the rest of the zig-zags and speed back into line, ready for the next one, but I soon realize that is the last time I can do it.  

3 comments:

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  2. Well done, Miro, you've conveyed the speed and excitement of the time you were cycling. You have created lots of interest for the reader with a great variety of sentence beginnings and lengths.

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  3. Very interesting piece of writing Miro! It can be tricky to work in present tense- you've done it in a smooth & flowing way. Sounds like a fun time :-)

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Thank-you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comment.